Thanksgiving. . . we put the FUN in dysfunctional!

I'm backtracking a LONG ways here, and writing about Thanksgiving 2012 because I think it was a pivotal event in my life. So, the definition of "family" has been modified again and again to make sure everyone in the whole world is included in some type of family or another. I think this Thanksgiving used the most liberal definition possible. 

We had Thanksgiving at our house, and here is a list of the guests as they relate to me. . . 

-My brother, his family, and his children

-My cousin's husband and their 4 kids

-My husband (Jeff), biological son, and my 2 step kids

-My gay ex-husband and his partner

-My parents-in-law

-My father-in-law's brother

-My brother-in-law, his wife, and baby

Did I leave anyone out? I think we had about 22 people there, and it was a hodge podge of people who were and were not related in any way. It also sounds like it could be the recipe for disaster, but it ended up being such a fun, warm gathering! It was kind of weird to be introducing my current mother-in-law to my ex-husband's boyfriend, but we all ended up having a great time and the conversation was jovial. 

 This turkey had been in a horrible car accident not 18 hours before this picture was taken. My ex-husband (Carl) and his partner (Mike) bought and prepared about 3/4 of the Thanksgiving meal. On their way out of Yakima the night before Thanksgiving, they got in a car accident that totalled their car, and I got a panicked phone call from Carl saying they probably couldn't make it in time. So I  quickly ran to Costco and got everything they were going to bring. Then they ended up making it here, limping and bruised, with all their poor, smashed food. The tow truck had their car all tied up and ready to haul it away when Carl leaped up there and started pulling dishes and pies and a huge turkey out of the car and throwing them down to Mike, who had to catch it all with one arm, as his other arm had been somewhat mangled in the crash. After all of that, they spent all of Thanksgiving morning cooking everything for the feast. All their effort was SO appreciated because I am one who only cooks food when obligated and never for pleasure.

 Jeff's dad, carving the brave, brave turkey. Can you spot the objects in this picture that belong to a different holiday?

 Kids' table (Look at Joseph's grimace. That is awesome.)

 more kids

 Grown-up table. Where the heck are all the grown-ups?

 kids' pie fight

 not fun anymore

Jude and Leila helping Carl make the veggies for the turkey

This was a GREAT Thanksgiving! Let's do it again next year, and invite only people we meet on vacation! Keep that definition of "family" broad.

An Introduction

Hilary, Jeff,
Leila, Eddie, Jude

We are the Harris’s and we’re starting this brand new blog. It is about the grape juice of life, you know the sweet, happy, times that seem to leave their mark on your mind like a purple stain on your turtleneck.  It is also about the wrath doled out by parents who discover grape juice stains left on the couch. . . and the carpet. . . and the clothes worn by the kids who got a hold of the grape juice. You get the picture.

A gaggle is a group of geese. A school is a bunch of fish that swim together. A pride is a group of lions. And an ingratitude is a group of children, according to my dad. I am beginning to understand what he meant.

Our ingratitude is made up of Eddie (6), Leila (5), and Jude (4). 

Eddie in thug mode

Eddie goes by his middle name. His first name is Jeffrey, which is his dad’s name, and which is still consistently used by his school and dentist. He started kindergarten this year. 

Pretty Leila

Leila is named after “Layla” the Eric Clapton song, to which she knows all the words. It seems like her name should then be spelled like the name of the song. But it’s not. 

Sweet Jude

Jude is not named after anyone in particular, but my ex-husband and I agreed that a boy named Jude could be a lawyer or a snake hunter, and it would suit him either way. Jude also can sing his theme song. Can you guess what it is?

wedding day, Portland temple

Jeff is my husband of a little over 6 months now. He was in the army for almost 9 years, and now he goes to art school. He is a sculptor, but can really do anything artistic. Everything he makes is beautiful and perfect, and I attribute that to his incredible attention to detail. I am opposite of Jeff. I get bored within the first 10 minutes of a movie because I can’t be bothered with details. Just tell me what happens, and it will be over in 3 minutes, and then we can get on with doing something productive. Like facebook.

Jeff and I started dating after we were both divorced and we both had our kids full-time. Eddie and Leila are his biological children, and Jude is my biological son. We are basically the experts at dating with toddlers, so we put together these guidelines. . .

THINGS TO REMEMBER IF YOU’RE DATING WITH TODDLERS

1.  Cleaning up vomit and/or urine together is a great way to bond (and also find out if your loved one is tough enough for you)

2. If all else fails, just turn on Dora.

3. There is no limit to how many Dora episodes you can make out to

4.  If you’re worried because you haven’t heard your kid(s) making noise for a while in another room, just get on the phone with the person you’re dating, and your children will miraculously come back to life LOUDLY

5.  A good potential spouse will be understanding and laugh when he/she finds out he/she couldn’t get ahold of you because you dropped your phone in the toilet while potty training your kid.

Well, that’s it. Someone’s yelling to me from the bathroom that they need to be wiped. Stay tuned!

family cake cutting---fun danger time with little ones!