A few goings-on

I feel like my brain is in a million different places right now. Fortunately for you, you get to read all about it!

We went camping this last week with Jeff's family at Wallowa Lake State Park, in Oregon. The scenery reminded me a lot of the Wasatch mountain range in Utah. I miraculously remembered to bring a camera, but then, not so miraculously, forgot to use it most of the time. So, here are some goofy pictures for you to enjoy from our camping trip.

 Jeff caught a trout one evening while fishing with his dad. That poor fellow remains frozen in our freezer (the fish, not Jeff's dad)

 Leila and Jude. Jude does not have epilepsy, he just never takes his helmet off when he's done riding his bike.

 The Exuberant Jude

 See those bandages on Leila's leg? Any normal parent would have Band-Aids on hand. As a nurse, however, I was prepared with a roll of gauze, bandage scissors, and medical tape. 

Eddie was on this camping trip also, though we almost lost him when he had to urgently have a bowel movement, and I had to send him to the bathroom alone. We couldn't find him in the bathroom we thought he'd gone into, and the ranger station and marina were both notified, and a park-wide search was underway for a brown kid wearing swim trunks who had an urgent need to poop. Not much later, Eddie emerged from an unexpected bathroom with empty bowels, ready to play again. Whew!

Another notable incident occurred while I was getting into my sleeping bag one night and felt a very specific kind of pain on my left buttock. With great speed I pulled my pants down and told Jeff to look at my bottom (he was disappointed at the reason). We found a yellow jacket in my sleeping bag! Needless to say, I became the sleeping bag checking nazi after that. No child went to bed without having their sleeping bag thoroughly dumped upside down and a light shined into every dark corner. 

It was a pretty fun trip, and I got a little more used to cooking in a dutch oven. When I worked at Anasazi I became a whiz at cooking my food in a tin cup shoved into the coals in a fire. This mass-quantity idea is harder for me. But, no one got food poisoning or contracted a deadly parasite, so I consider it a success! 

I finally got around to organizing the kids' craft area, and one of the kids took this picture of it. I've been organizing more than usual lately. For example, I finally have a laundry basket dedicated to whites only. Jeff called me a racist when I told him. 

Jeff is bow hunting for deer with his dad this week, which leaves me alone with the children. I was excited to try it out . . . right up until the moment Jeff left and realized everything really is up to me this week. Because of the hunt, I pushed back our ultrasound of our baby another week so Jeff can be there with me. At long last, at week 19, I felt this baby move! I don't know why it took so long. Hopefully I'm really carrying a baby and not a very small fish or something. Or maybe this is just an extremely lazy child. I guess we'll find out at the ultrasound appointment. I mostly care that the baby's organs are INSIDE its body, because if they're not, you know, that's when things get serious. The boy/girl thing is interesting, but not as crucial as the organs being inside the body. Oh, and a brain. I hope it has a brain. That's how I feel about ultrasounds. I don't mean to sound trite and mean for those parents who have had babies born with anxiety-causing birth defects or diseases. I think you parents are amazing, and I just don't think I could be as tough as you are. 

Today I put Jude in time-out for breaking a rule, and he screamed from behind the door, "Mommy! You're a sh**!" I swear to you, as I live and flourish, I have NEVER used that word, especially in front of my children. I think he learned that word because the only movie we had downloaded on the iPad on the long drive home from our camping trip was Avatar, which includes that word a couple of times. We were so nervous when we heard it and saw it go into our children's innocent ears, and now I have paid for that mistake. Why didn't I have a strong-worded come-to-Jesus talk with Jude when he disrespected his mother like that?? Guilt. I believe it is my fault he knows that word, and I lost a part of my soul when I heard him use it.

I also read my friend Geoff Groberg's blog today about a gig my band played in 2008, and it made me so nostalgic. Here's the link to the blog post. It is magical (the link is actually just normal, but the blog post is really good, kind of magical). http://geoffgroberg.com/2013/08/25/koosharem/

Well, I hope your Sunday was a good one! 

Squirty Thirties

Jeff and I have an excuse for everything. . . literally ONE excuse. . . for everything. Our excuse is that we're in our "squirty thirties" which just means we're in that time of life when a lot of things get neglected or dropped in order that other, more urgent, matters might me taken care of. It is also a nice excuse if one of us passes gas (which hopefully is not actually "squirty"). This blog is a great example of one of those things that got dropped. I can't even remember what I was going to blog about first, so I thought I would just put some pictures in here from the last week or so.

The elders quorum (of which Jeff is the 2nd counselor, and Dave my brother is the president) in our ward put together a coast day for any families that wanted to come. Here are a bunch of the kids from our ward in different stages of being buried. I would draw your attention to Isaac at the far right, jumping on Eddie who is, for some reason, smiling.

Isaac and Eddie

Jude LOVES finding body parts of sea creatures! This crab leg was a great prize!

Jude relaxing in the grass

This is my sister-in-law Jo, who claims she never looks good in pictures. I think this one is family calendar worthy!

Joseph and Leila (cousins) were running all around in the grass and hiding in there all day. At one point, we looked over there to check on them, and Joseph AND Leila were at least shirtless, Lord of the Flies-ing it! We parents, who probably should have been watching them more closely (but remember, we ARE in our squirty thirties, so. . . ) called out to them to put their clothes back on, and then Jo gave them a lecture about "appropriateness". 

It was not until we got out of the car in Seaside, that we realized Leila, in her scramble to cover her shame, put her swimming suit on over her pants. She was a little embarrassed and did not want her picture taken. 

I took the kids to participate in the all-comers track meet two weeks in a row. Jude fell asleep the 2nd week, and that's why he's not pictured here. But this is Leila (lane 3 in the white shirt, blue shorts) doing the hurdles. She claims she is a great hurdler because she gets it from her Aunt Carlie who is also a great hurdler and a track coach.

Of course this movie is sideways. This is Eddie hurdling in lane 4.

Leila always stretches at the start line. This is right before the 200.

This is Eddie running the 200 (2nd lane from the left), for which he got 3rd place!

Leila in the 50 meter dash

 It recently occurred to me that Jeff and I have not had our pictures taken on purpose since our wedding over a year ago! Despite that fact, I think there are some of you who are wondering what we look like lately. Well, there are always those great pics you find on your camera after your kids have gotten ahold of it. So, here's one of Jeff taken about 4 days ago by Jude.

Jude is actually a budding photographer, as is evidenced in one of my rarest moments he captured about 3 days ago.

But I got him back!

Thanks for reading! Don't give up on me! I will continue to add to this blog come Hell or high water!

Thanksgiving. . . we put the FUN in dysfunctional!

I'm backtracking a LONG ways here, and writing about Thanksgiving 2012 because I think it was a pivotal event in my life. So, the definition of "family" has been modified again and again to make sure everyone in the whole world is included in some type of family or another. I think this Thanksgiving used the most liberal definition possible. 

We had Thanksgiving at our house, and here is a list of the guests as they relate to me. . . 

-My brother, his family, and his children

-My cousin's husband and their 4 kids

-My husband (Jeff), biological son, and my 2 step kids

-My gay ex-husband and his partner

-My parents-in-law

-My father-in-law's brother

-My brother-in-law, his wife, and baby

Did I leave anyone out? I think we had about 22 people there, and it was a hodge podge of people who were and were not related in any way. It also sounds like it could be the recipe for disaster, but it ended up being such a fun, warm gathering! It was kind of weird to be introducing my current mother-in-law to my ex-husband's boyfriend, but we all ended up having a great time and the conversation was jovial. 

 This turkey had been in a horrible car accident not 18 hours before this picture was taken. My ex-husband (Carl) and his partner (Mike) bought and prepared about 3/4 of the Thanksgiving meal. On their way out of Yakima the night before Thanksgiving, they got in a car accident that totalled their car, and I got a panicked phone call from Carl saying they probably couldn't make it in time. So I  quickly ran to Costco and got everything they were going to bring. Then they ended up making it here, limping and bruised, with all their poor, smashed food. The tow truck had their car all tied up and ready to haul it away when Carl leaped up there and started pulling dishes and pies and a huge turkey out of the car and throwing them down to Mike, who had to catch it all with one arm, as his other arm had been somewhat mangled in the crash. After all of that, they spent all of Thanksgiving morning cooking everything for the feast. All their effort was SO appreciated because I am one who only cooks food when obligated and never for pleasure.

 Jeff's dad, carving the brave, brave turkey. Can you spot the objects in this picture that belong to a different holiday?

 Kids' table (Look at Joseph's grimace. That is awesome.)

 more kids

 Grown-up table. Where the heck are all the grown-ups?

 kids' pie fight

 not fun anymore

Jude and Leila helping Carl make the veggies for the turkey

This was a GREAT Thanksgiving! Let's do it again next year, and invite only people we meet on vacation! Keep that definition of "family" broad.

An Introduction

Hilary, Jeff,
Leila, Eddie, Jude

We are the Harris’s and we’re starting this brand new blog. It is about the grape juice of life, you know the sweet, happy, times that seem to leave their mark on your mind like a purple stain on your turtleneck.  It is also about the wrath doled out by parents who discover grape juice stains left on the couch. . . and the carpet. . . and the clothes worn by the kids who got a hold of the grape juice. You get the picture.

A gaggle is a group of geese. A school is a bunch of fish that swim together. A pride is a group of lions. And an ingratitude is a group of children, according to my dad. I am beginning to understand what he meant.

Our ingratitude is made up of Eddie (6), Leila (5), and Jude (4). 

Eddie in thug mode

Eddie goes by his middle name. His first name is Jeffrey, which is his dad’s name, and which is still consistently used by his school and dentist. He started kindergarten this year. 

Pretty Leila

Leila is named after “Layla” the Eric Clapton song, to which she knows all the words. It seems like her name should then be spelled like the name of the song. But it’s not. 

Sweet Jude

Jude is not named after anyone in particular, but my ex-husband and I agreed that a boy named Jude could be a lawyer or a snake hunter, and it would suit him either way. Jude also can sing his theme song. Can you guess what it is?

wedding day, Portland temple

Jeff is my husband of a little over 6 months now. He was in the army for almost 9 years, and now he goes to art school. He is a sculptor, but can really do anything artistic. Everything he makes is beautiful and perfect, and I attribute that to his incredible attention to detail. I am opposite of Jeff. I get bored within the first 10 minutes of a movie because I can’t be bothered with details. Just tell me what happens, and it will be over in 3 minutes, and then we can get on with doing something productive. Like facebook.

Jeff and I started dating after we were both divorced and we both had our kids full-time. Eddie and Leila are his biological children, and Jude is my biological son. We are basically the experts at dating with toddlers, so we put together these guidelines. . .

THINGS TO REMEMBER IF YOU’RE DATING WITH TODDLERS

1.  Cleaning up vomit and/or urine together is a great way to bond (and also find out if your loved one is tough enough for you)

2. If all else fails, just turn on Dora.

3. There is no limit to how many Dora episodes you can make out to

4.  If you’re worried because you haven’t heard your kid(s) making noise for a while in another room, just get on the phone with the person you’re dating, and your children will miraculously come back to life LOUDLY

5.  A good potential spouse will be understanding and laugh when he/she finds out he/she couldn’t get ahold of you because you dropped your phone in the toilet while potty training your kid.

Well, that’s it. Someone’s yelling to me from the bathroom that they need to be wiped. Stay tuned!

family cake cutting---fun danger time with little ones!